May I suggest taking this to the next level? Instead of merely cutting others some slack, why not make it a point to be a bright spot in their day?

Always assume that whomever you’re dealing with deserves your very best manners, a cheerful smile and acknowledgment for the work they do. Not because they’re doing anything special or because they’re in special circumstances, but because they are a fellow human and as such deserve our love and support, and because life is hard and we can all use all the help we can get.

On top of that, be careful to avoid the ubiquitous “fundamental attribution error” – the tendency to blame others’ lapses on character flaws, but excusing your own lapses as a result of circumstances. For example, if I have a moment of erratic driving, it’s a temporary deviation from my normal good driving skills caused by dropping something or being distracted. But if the guy in front of me drives erratically, it’s because he’s a clueless moron who should never have gotten a license.

Finally, remember that we’re all out there doing the best we can at any given time. And sometimes the very best we can manage is a surly, grudging interaction with those around us. If this is true for someone you’re interacting with, it’s not the time to get offended. It’s the time to try harder to be that bright spot. Because let’s face it, if this is the best they can manage, they really need our compassion and concern. If you don’t thinks so, ask yourself, “How bad would I have to perceive my life to be, for me to act like that?” You may not share their judgment of their life, but that’s not the point. It’s that bad for them. And it doesn’t do you any credit to add to their troubles. (Again, as you noted in the ‘cast, this isn’t about not asking for what you need. It’s about how you treat others.)

This approach isn’t just good for the other guy, though. Just like how acknowledging what’s good in your life makes you more aware of what’s there, going over the top to acknowledge, support and thank others has made me far more appreciative of the work everyone else does on my behalf to make daily stuff of life like grocery shopping the seamless, productive experience it usually is. In doing this, I’ve come to understand certain realities, like how even an entire store of surly staff beats foraging through pallets of intermixed groceries all piled up on a loading dock, hauling them around an uncleaned store in a cart I had to bring from home, and then doing all the adding-up and change-making myself.

Plus, it’s just plain fun to surprise people. You ought to hear the lift in a customer service phone-bank worker’s voice when you scrupulous call them sir and ma’am, keep a smile in your voice while you talk, thank them for their help and wish them a good day when you’re done.

If none of this is convincing, then there’s always blatant self interest – if you’re the one bright spot in someone’s day, day after day, then if nothing else you’ll start to get better customer service simply because we all tend to respond in kind to those who treat us well.

Finally, for the most hard-core cases of human ugliness, consider this…

I read somewhere about a great teacher who was asked what prayer of gratitude was possible for the very worst of mankind, those in whom you can find no redeeming value, no matter how hard you try. The teacher smiled with great humor and acknowledged how hard that can be, then offered this prayer that could be said for anyone, no matter how bad: “Divine One, I give thanks for this human being, for his exhalations feed the flowers.”

Jeff Simpkins Wrote:
“I disagree with you that Elizabeth should have listened to the entire podcast. It appears she sampled it and determined the content was not for her. In today’s society we are bombarded with so much information that using filters is perfectly appropriate.”

Hey Jeff — Thanks for the great comment. One thing I want to clarify is that I do not believe she should have watched the whole video just to watch it. If it wasn’t for her it wasn’t for her. Agreed we all need filters… I totally get it..

My point was –> Don’t make a sweeping generalizations that judge the whole thing when you haven’t seen it all. It just makes the person look stupid.

I think we are in total agreement, actually.

I agree that one should take the time to gather complete information before forming an opinion. The behavior you described of the person making the comment describes the root of much prejudice.

Prejudice is often formed out of fear and based on partial truths.

I disagree with you that Elizabeth should have listened to the entire podcast. It appears she sampled it and determined the content was not for her. In today’s society we are bombarded with so much information that using filters is perfectly appropriate.

Here’s where you and I agree once again… I believe if her intent was to respond to the podcast, she then had an obligation to listen to the entire contents in order to comment in an accurate and relavent manner.