Archive for fear
New Perspectives for Job Seekers
Posted by: | CommentsAsk The Life Coach – Video Episode 1 -
Stephanie – A recruiter…
In this episode of Ask The Life Coach, Stephanie, a recruiter, asks Life Coach Roger DeWitt how we can get people to see other opportunities. When what has been working stops working how do we encourage job seekers in this economy to find a new perspective? (4 Minutes 30 seconds)
Have You Seen Ben Zander Talk?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you have never seen this man speak… he is quirky, amazing, insightful and totally brilliant. What he says here regarding Classical Music has leadership, life, communication, relationship and joy lessons. A total MUST WATCH yet again from TED.
Making Snap Decisions
Posted by: | CommentsBelow is a rough transcript of the podcast episode available at the bottom of this post. You now have the option to read or listen!!
A few days ago I posted this amazing talk I found on Ted.com. It was best-selling author Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat, Pray, Love talking about the pressures of being someone who is professionally creative and the expectations of others once we’ve had a success. It was the most fascinating exploration into the human mind of how we all fear that what we have done so far may be as good as it gets. We worry ourselves silly about being good enough for the challenges that lie ahead of us. Without mentioning it, she addresses the fraud factor that I think we all feel or have felt at one time in our life. She offers an amazing way of thinking that can literally smash those fears away. The video was 19 minutes long and I encourage you to watch it if you haven’t already. It is truly one of the most uplifting talks I have ever heard and it gave me strategies that could put into practice immediately.
But that’s not what this article is about.
Now I love blogging. I love the discussion factor and how it gets people talking and how people with varying opinions can weigh in on any given topic… that is to a point.
When I posted that incredibly uplifting and inspiring video I got one comment that I simply couldn’t approve because… well, quite frankly… it would’ve made the person look a little kooky.
This person went on a rant about how they had listened only to the first few minutes of the video and how they became bored and turned it off and then started railing against the fact that everybody feels fear and its natural and good for you. The person called Elizabeth perimenopausal and spoke as if the video had been a self-indulgent “poor me” episode. It was bizarre. I almost approved it because it was so ridiculous. But I didn’t.
Now here’s my point: within the first couple of sentences the person had said that they had only listened to the first few minutes of the video. OK, they missed the other 17 minutes of it. You think there might have been a little bit more information than just in the first two minutes? Do you think that the speaker might have given a solution or two? Do you think you might have given it a chance?
This is the danger we all face when we make snap judgments without all the information. This person had decided after two minutes that they knew exactly what this audio was about, exactly what the speaker was about and exactly what they would get out of it at the end.
Hmmm… make up stories in your head, much?
Here are three obvious things that can help us avoid making snap decisions.
1) Make sure you get all the facts. That means hearing the person out or finishing the entire book or… dare I say watching the entire video. Once you have the information, you can make a decision.
2) Remember that we are making up stories about what things mean. This is in good or bad this just is. Be aware that you’re doing that in separate your story about what things mean from the facts in this case the words.
3) Listen more than you speak. Be interested rather than interesting. Give people the benefit of the doubt. When you do that you are more open and less prone to judgementalism. You don’t want to be judged so be very, very cautious of judging others.
Blogging is fascinating to me and I love it. I think people are fascinating and I learn from even the wackiest situations. But a bit of advice when you comment… and I hope you do… make sure you’ve read the whole article or listen to the whole audio or … dare I say it… watch the whole video!!! ‘Cause next time… I’m gonna hit approve!
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Creativity, Genius and Being Good Enough
Posted by: | CommentsEveryone is Creative in one way or another.
Those of us who are or have been creative for a living have, at one time or another, felt the weight of fear and self doubt of the ubiquitous question: “AM I GOOD ENOUGH?” Even when we have done it before too tremendous accolades and applause, we worry that perhaps that is as good as it will ever get… maybe our genius was just a fluke and we will be found out as the frauds and fakes that we fear we might be.
I certainly have been there and so has just about every creative person I have ever met. In fact, I would venture to say that every person — professionally creative or not — has had this same fear or worry that has eroded their joy in the present moment.
The video below is a talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, a best-selling author, in which she speaks to the core of everything that we are as creative individuals. In this uplifting and invigorating talk, she gives us a perspective with language and tools to help us separate “who we are” from “what we do.”
It is one of the fastest and most uplifting 19 minutes I have ever experienced.
Enjoy and please comment!!
When The Going Gets Tough
Posted by: | CommentsMy husband left for work early this morning. About five minutes after he left, I got a text from him. He said, “guess what, the same taxi driver who picked me up yesterday morning, just pick me up today.” I texted back a “wow, that’s amazing” response and continued to watch the early morning news. What he texted me after that was what piqued my interest and gave rise to this blog post.
Apparently the taxi driver had posted his business resume in his taxi cab. It had his full name, his work history, the fact that he went to North Carolina A. and T. University for undergrad and got his MBA from LaSalle.
He is currently driving a taxi cab in New York City and my guess is, given the fact that he has posted his resume, it is not a job that he sees himself doing for ever.
As someone who finds himself worrying about things that “might” happen, this got me thinking. Don’t get me wrong, I have no knowledge of exactly what happened to this gentleman and everything I’m about to tell you I am completely making up in my head. However, it made me think.
Clearly, this man at some point lost his job or was downsized or… who knows what and he found the need to find alternate work — survival work, you know. Probably his worst fear was realized. I imagine he went looking for another business job but to no avail. He came to a point where he simply needed to make a living so he started driving a cab. Believe me — it is a tough job to drive a taxi in NYC. You deal with all kinds of people and by law you have to take them. It ain’t easy and I admire those who do it.
What I love about this story is the optimism. I’m guessing the gentleman didn’t worry and wring his hands in fear over what might happen. Instead, he simply did what he needed to do. The creativity here is what stuns me. He examined the situation and instead of falling into victimhood and turning bitter, I imagine that he asked himself “what is the opportunity here in this situation?” The answer: A lot of people sit in the back of my car. Many of them are executives and business people. Some of them might be looking to hire someone. Why don’t I let them know I’m looking for a position and show them how creative I can be in the process.
Genius!
There are two takeaways for me in this:
- When when stuff happens in life you have 2 choices: a) be a victim and become resentful or b) simply do what you need to do to take care of the situation the best way you can and realize situations can change.
- Never lose your optimism. If you look at the situation you are currently in creatively, you will find opportunity in the strangest of places.
I wish I knew someone who was hiring or someone in a major news organization. I would do a story about this man in the hopes that it would inspire other people to think creatively no matter what situation they are in.
So if business is bad or something is going on in your life that just totally sucks, when you can, step outside of yourself and look at the situation from a creative, dispassionate observer position. Ask yourself this question: “what is my opportunity here and how can I make the most of it?” Who knows what you might discover. A creative idea just might springboard you in a new direction.
We Don’t See Reality as it is… We See it Through Filters
Posted by: | CommentsIn my work as a Life Coach, I always end up talking to my clients about their perspective, beliefs and fears and how they influence their perception of reality. There was an amazing example of this on the Today Show yesterday in a Matt Lauer interview with Sarah Palin. Listen to this 3 minute podcast and take an important lesson on how we can change our reality and our results.
Please leave a comment if this speaks to you.
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